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 Stories > Rainbow FC > Chapter 20: Mr. Suave

With my life back on track and my problems all put to one side, I finally feel ready to concentrate on the reason I was brought to Fulham; making the team successful. Our stoic rear-guard in the second half against Arsenal had shown me a previously unseen battling spirit in the squad. I felt like we were on the cusp of becoming the finished article and a real force to be reckoned with in the Premier League.

We were about to enter the hectic Christmas period and I knew that our results during the next few weeks would go a long way to shaping the outcome of our season.

As I put up the decorations and decorated the tree in my house, I was yet to be overcome with the Christmas spirit. You see, before I could fully focus my attention back on coaching and management, Mr Al-Fayed had ordered me to do an interview live on Sky News, explaining the murky circumstances surrounding Rickys exit from the club.

I had received a very carefully worded manuscript, written by the chairman himself, detailing in miniscule detail how I was to respond to any potentially difficult questions from the anchors. After being burned so badly by Jim White on Sky Sports News, I had vowed never to work with the channel again, but this was different. I had tried to bury my head in the sand, but the media had become increasingly sceptical about our version of events regarding Rickys departure. Mr. Al-Fayed had said that we owed it to our fans to once and for all, set the record straight and as the main figurehead at the club, that duty fell on my shoulders.

As I made my way into the studios, the enormity of the event finally dawned on me. This wasnt a story that was going to be restricted merely to the sports pages - this was front page news. As the production staff and cameramen buzzed around me, I tried to resist their insistence that I go and tidy myself up in the make up department. The public want the real deal, not an air-brushed, idealistic version of me, Im fine as I am I snapped. I was out of my comfort-zone and felt uneasy, I had studied the script I had been given over and over, but I would have been lying if I said that I wasnt nervous about the interview.

As I prepared to go live and was fitted with my microphone, I was greeted with a friendly smile by my chief-interrogator, Kay Burley. Paranoia swept over me, this woman had the potential to make my life very difficult for the next thirty minutes, so I opted for a charm offensive. Good afternoon, Ms. Burley, might I say that you are looking particularly lovely this afternoon.

Thank you, Jonathan, your not looking too bad yourself she said with a distinct lack of sincerity in her voice. The cameraman counted down 5-4-3-2... and then pointed at Kay as the programme reconvened.

Kay Burley: Hello and welcome, your watching Sky News, here are the headlines at the top of the hour; scores of victims are feared dead as wild fires spread across West Africa; the actress, Megan Fox, has been found dead in her Cincinatti home after reportedly taking an overdose of prescription drugs and finally, in sport, George Burley faces a fierce backlash in Scotland after his team succumbed to the most humiliating defeat in their history, going down 3-0 at home to Andorra. And now, we have Lisa Burke with the weather forecast.

As the programme cut to the weather report, Kay whispered for me to stop slouching in my chair Big smile Jonathan, lets make this a really memorable interview.

Kay Burley: Welcome back, now many of you will have heard about the stories surrounding Fulham Football Club and the departure of popular assistant manager, Ricky Sbragia. One time Bolton coach Sbragia left his role as assistant to Jonathan Wolstenholme earlier this month, to join Japanese J-League side, Gamba Osaka. However, there has been persistent speculation in the media that there may be a little more to this story than we first thought. So, joining me at this moment we have the esteemed manager of Fulham, Mr. Jonathan Wolstenholme.

The camera panned over towards me and I forced a toothless smile as Kay looked on, with a clear twinkle in her eye.

Kay Burley: Now Jonathan, you and Ricky always seemed to get on so well together. I think you will agree with most of us neutrals, that for two people who enjoyed each others company and were doing such a good job at Craven Cottage, that Rickys departure was a bit of a bolt out of the blue.

Jonathan Wolstenholme: Yes, it was a big surprise to me personally. But I think Ricky saw this as his big chance to make a name for himself on the world stage. He is a great friend and always will be and I think it would have been selfish of me to stand in the way of his dream to become a respected manager in his own right.

With the first bullet dodged, I began to grow in confidence and my nerves eased.

Kay Burley: I think the thing that has perplexed a lot of people is that despite being in the job for over a week now, there has been no mention of Mr. Sbragias appointment from Gamba Osaka, not so much as a mention on the clubs website.

Jonathan Wolstenholme: I think that much of that is down to Ricky himself, hes always been a low-key kind of guy and has never chased the limelight, he prefers to get on with his job in a quiet manner. Football comes first with Ricky and I think Gamba are just biding their time before they make the big announcement - this is a real coup for them.

I had become quite adept at lying during the past few weeks and as Kay probed, I continued to repel her questions with my merry web of deceit.

Kay Burley: So, Mr Al-Fayed is a notoriously ruthless businessmen, how has he reacted to having one of his top talents poached by another club?

Jonathan Wolstenholme: Myself and Mr. Al-Fayed have an excellent working relationship and he has the utmost faith in my judgement. However, he understands that there are a few things that you just cannot control and Mr. Sbragias departure was one of them. Everyone has their dreams and Rickys was to be his own boss. As a successful entrepreneur and businessman, Mr Al-Fayed respects his choice and wishes him the very best for the future.

I sensed Kay was becoming agitated, the big scoop she had hoped for was not materialising and it forced her to resort to a desperate and underhand line of questioning.

Kay Burley: During your tenure at Fulham, you have endured a tempestuous ride and are now looking for your third assistant manager in as many as five months if I remember correctly…”

I wasn’t blind, I could see the direction she was trying to steer the conversation, so quickly intervened.

Jonathan Wolstenholme: “Actually Kay, we have already appointed a new assistant manager. Dave Beasant will be my new number two, he has great experience and I think his knowledge will be a great asset to the team”.

Kay’s eyes began to wander as she looked around the studio in search of some guidance from the production staff. Far from her grilling me, I had turned the tables and her ‘big’ interview was turning into something of a damp squib. She attempted to regain her composure and in desperation, began grasping at straws.

Kay Burley: “So, what do you say to those conspiracy theorists out there who are suggesting that Ricky’s sudden departure wasn’t anything to do with joining up with Gamba Osaka, but something else more sinister. I wont go into details, I’m sure you’ve heard the rumours, what would you say to these people?”

Even with Kay beginning to get close to the real story, I remained supremely confident. She wasn’t the kind of serious journalist who would instil fear in a person. I could see it all, she was reading off the auto-cue; so I gave my carefully scripted answer to her carefully scripted question.

Jonathan Wolstenholme: “I think most people give the conspiracy theorists short shrift. They’re the type of people who like to make a mountain out of a molehill and look for the double-meaning in everything you say. All I will add is that at Fulham, we have been completely transparent with our fans and the public, we have nothing to hide”.

With the interview now dead in the water, the channel cut to a commercial break. I rose out of my seat and triumphantly removed the microphone from my ear.

This was a real shot in the arm for me, I had never been the most eloquent when it came to being grilled by the media, but I had come out of this interview with flying colours and couldn‘t wait to hear Mr All-Fayed‘s response. With Kay’s reputation in tatters, she sat threw the commercial break with her head firmly pressed in her hands.

She wasn’t a bad looking woman, so I decided to throw her a bone. I instructed a member of the production staff to pass her my phone number, “She’s in a committed relationship” one of them added, “It doesn’t matter” I said, “It always helps to keep your options open”.

 

 

CM FOCUS

 
CM 2010 section
We will soon be starting work on our new CM 2010 section, which should be up within the next week.

I hope to build up some comprehensive lists of all the best players, tactics, set pieces routines and training schedules.

I am also hoping to start a new Lower League Section, with help and guides for those who chose to start their managerial careers further down the footballing ladder.

If anyone is interested in helping with the Lower League section or any other area of the site, then please send me an e-mail at jonathan@champ-man.com